In the thirty-fourth stanza, Guru Teghbahadar says,
I am exhausted, I have made lots of efforts, but my pride of mind still has not gone away. I am engrossed in negative thinking, in thinking that is not genuine. O Bhagvan, protect me, save me, help me. Here,
Bhagvan is an epithet used for
IkOankar (One Creative and Pervasive Force, 1Force, the One), highlighting the adorable quality of the One.
Here, Guru Teghbahadar switches to the first-person perspective. This switch can be understood by noticing the pattern that stanzas on the world, or more practical and simplistic direction and litmus tests are delivered in the third person. Whereas stanzas that are more abstract and philosophical and a bit harsher are self-directed and self-reflexive—Guru Teghbahadar speaks in the first person and relays the lesson through introspection.
Guru Teghbahadar mentions negative or ingenuine thinking. This kind of thinking can be understood with the metaphor of a coin that is not genuine silver, that is made of silver mixed with other metals. Silver was always genuine, but it was mixed with other metals. Similarly, the effort we made was always genuine, but it was mixed up with other things. This idea is also mentioned in the Song of Hope, Asa Ki Var, through the metaphor of a vessel that must be emptied of one substance to make room for another, to avoid mixing two different substances. If the vessel has dirt in it, like ego or attachment, and we pour clean water into it, the clean water will become muddied. This is what happens to our efforts when we mix in our negative thinking. Our efforts do not work because we are still caught up in negativity, and our efforts become less genuine.
The ego that is mentioned is a kind of intangible manifestation of ego. In its tangible form, it is our companions or our relatives and the desire to keep them with us, and the pride we feel in them. In a “religious” sense, it might be that we do our certain prayers or rituals, we do the things we are supposed to do to help us get
rid of our negative thinking, and we make all of those efforts, but there is a subtle pride in having done these things that we sometimes interpret as only enthusiasm. But unless these efforts are happening in some form of thankfulness, there will be this pride. And to get rid of this ego is no small thing—it is very big.
What good is forsaking attachment if we have not been able to get rid of pride? If we still exist between pride and non-pride, then we are not servants of the One yet.
Until the body is standing on the mind, this pride will not leave. When the mind develops a relationship with the One, the mind-heart tension begins to lessen, and that relationship has glimpses of the Grace, and that glimpse then says,
it is not me it is You, that is when ego leaves.
