Logo
The engagement (kurmai) is an important ceremony performed to connect two individuals and two families before marriage. Here, the Guru uses the symbolism of the engagement ceremony to describe the process of the development and establishment of a seeker’s relationship with IkOankar (the Divine). It is stated that Guru, the Embodiment of love, has come along with the virtuous beings as the father of the bride to perform the blissful ceremony of engagement by bringing along the gifts of virtues like truth, contentment, love, etc.
satu santokhu kari bhāu   kuṛamu kuṛmāī āiā   bali rām jīu.  
sant janā kari melu   gurbāṇī gāvāīā bali rām jīu.  
bāṇī gur gāī paramgati pāī   panc mile sohāiā.
gaïā karodhu mamtā tani nāṭhī   pākhanḍu bharamu gavāiā.
haümai pīr gaī sukhu pāiā   ārogat bhae sarīrā.
gur parsādī brahamu pachātā   nānak guṇī gahīrā.2.
-Guru Granth Sahib 773
Commentary
Literal Translation
Interpretive Transcreation
Poetical Dimension
Calligraphy
Suhi is a rag (musical mode) of enthusiasm. It is associated with deep love and devotion and evokes reverential adoration. This rag creates a mood of love beyond romance - a longing to experience it and a delight in doing so. Just as wedding ceremonies are passed through generations and are considered relatively ‘old,’ Suhi is one of the oldest rags. Deep love and devotion are among the oldest things we have tapped into and expressed. This old and deep love has always existed, but it is presented differently by different cultures. The idea of a love beyond time is deeply emotional, and these compositions are also deeply emotional. 

In the first composition, Guru Ramdas says by making truth, contentment, and love the gifts, the bride’s father has come for engagement, I devote to the dearest Beautiful One, jiu! The Guru frames the conversation as being about truth and contentment. Are these the things we discover through love? The Guru takes the classically religious, which tells us how to find truth and contentment, and puts it in conversation with what we might think is opposed to the religious or spiritual: love. It is especially true when the love being invoked is described through familiar worldly ceremonies and experiences so that we better understand what is being conveyed about love with IkOankar (One Universal Integrative Force, 1Force, the One). In the union between the human-bride, or the seeker, and the Divine-Groom, IkOankar, we discover the eternal, we discover contentment, and we experience love. In this union, the Wisdom (Guru) arranges the ceremony as the kuram, the human-bride’s father. The feminine element is very present in this composition, and the usage of the word kuram linguistically disrupts common culture and physical and biological aspects of the worldly wedding ceremony and emphasizes the feminine angle here. The Guru is the one who arranges or facilitates this union, coming from the feminine angle. The Guru invokes the Divine in the phrase bali ram jiu, pointing to the One’s strength, beauty, and endearing qualities. The tone of this invocation is deeply loving and soft. We are shown that in this Divine union, instead of trading or transacting in material goods and gifts like in worldly unions, we ought to be trading in virtues. These virtues are not abstract or philosophical. They are experienced through love — by loving, by acting in love, by pursuing the experience of love with the One. The Guru brings these virtues on behalf of the human-bride to marry the Beautiful One. 

The Guru says having facilitated the gathering of the virtuous beings or the Wisdom-oriented disciples; the Guru has caused them to sing the utterance of the Wisdom together. This idea of suhi, deep crimson-colored love and devotion, and old love becomes an action. The seeker and the gathering of virtuous beings sing in love, sing the utterances of the Wisdom in love, and enact their adoration through this collective action. Who are the people the Guru refers to as our companions in this ceremony? The virtuous beings who are Guru-like understand those Divine qualities through the Wisdom and display them. They are those individuals who exemplify this truth. It is this gathering that takes place as the virtuous ones come together and sing the Word of Wisdom in this ceremony.

The Guru says they have sung the utterance of the Wisdom; they have found the highest state of freedom. Through the company of the virtuous beings, the entire ceremony has become pleasant and beautiful. What happens when we sing the utterance of Wisdom? We are able to find that ultimate state of existence that we seek. This is not goal-oriented; there is a deep emotional longing for this state of freedom within all of us. This union is not about a physical coming together. It is about having an experience that will lead us to that state. Through the company of the virtuous beings, the seeker becomes beautiful. Through the singing of the utterance of Wisdom, the seeker, and the ceremony become beautiful. The people that surround us are those that have beautified this ceremony through their presence and their guidance, through their company, through their community. 

The Guru describes how this company has beautified the seeker: anger has gone, possessiveness has fled the body, hypocrisy and illusion have been lost, the pain of ego has gone, comfort has been found, and the body has become disease-free. The seeker has been made beautiful, and so has the ceremony. The seeker’s anger and attachment to i-ness and pretense and doubts have all run from the body. They have been lost. All misgivings and non-virtues from our behavior can be eliminated. We can find this highest state of freedom — not as an abstract state or something that comes after we have left these bodies, not as some kind of superfluous nirvana, but as a real experience of freedom here and now, through eliminating all that ails us. This is what makes us beautiful. This is what makes the union beautiful. This happens through the company of the virtuous beings who show us how to sing the utterance of the Wisdom and who lead us to the state of freedom we seek. 

Guru Ramdas concludes, through the Wisdom, the All-pervading IkOankar, the Source of all virtues, has been realized. We, as seekers, are able to experience the ultimate comfort and the elimination of our biggest pain through the Wisdom. Here, our biggest pain is not separation, but attachment to ego or i-ness, because we are in union. Even in worldly wedding ceremonies, we might struggle with pride. We might worry about what others think of us, whether the ceremonies are impressive enough, or whether the planning is adequate. In this union, pride has vanished, the body has become disease-free, and the faults and flaws within us have been resolved. Our behavior changes, and through the Grace, through the Wisdom, we experience this and acknowledge the Divine-Self that resides within our small selves. This is the Divine-Self which, in the Indic context, only the Brahmin claims to know. But we are being shown by Guru Ramdas that we have the ability to experience this connection, to live in relationship with the Divine-Self dwelling within us, without any priest or officiator. We do this through the Wisdom. We do this through feeling the Grace. We experience this relationship and this knowing of the One through the One’s incredible virtues. No one else can do this for us. We get to experience this recognition, this meeting with the One who has deep and endless virtues. It is not a thing we can conceptualize. It is a thing we experience, and that recognition of the Self by the self happens through the Wisdom. This is possible for each and every one of us.

Guru Ramdas uses the enactment of a physical engagement ceremony to help us think about meeting with the Divine. Who is present at this wedding party? Who are the truth-exemplifying beings we have surrounded ourselves with? Have we eliminated our anger? Have we traded not in physical gifts but in truth, contentment, and love as brought in by the Wisdom? Have we eliminated pride and pretense and ignorance and i-ness? When we do all this, we get to meet the Divine-Groom, IkOankar, the Source of all physical, mental, and emotional virtues. We are filled with excitement. We are shown how to change our behaviors so that we can experience the deepest of the virtues. We are cultivating ourselves to prepare for this meeting. We do this not because we are told it is what we must do but because it excites us, because we see how it is changing us and things for us, and we want to continue experiencing the bliss of that transformation and connection. Will we prepare ourselves? Will we find our truth-oriented companions? Will we experience the Source of all virtues in deep and old love?
Tags